Let’s go outside of the box a bit today, shall we? This whole blogging thing, Melissa Running It, is about more than just my two franken-feet trying to make friends with the road. Whether it’s the office, the workouts, the road, or life, I am running it. Or that’s the theory I like to run with, anyway. 🙂 Just as I had to be an active participant and make choices that would lead me to better health and fitness, I have to run my life, not be run by it. So here’s to a bit of rambling, hope you’ll stick around as your comments give me so much more to think about during this crazy race called life.
Everything that drives me to run (life or otherwise) comes from the same foundation, and that would be my faith in Jesus Christ. It is the one thing that keeps me grounded, rooted, and is my compass in deciding priorities, perspective, and decision making. Keep reading, this does circle back to running, really. 🙂 This last week has involved a lot of this:
The boy child. The young man. I can’t bring myself to call him a young adult. Yet. Minimal eye contact, even less engagement, and the whopping one mile car ride home I think he would have crawled out of the window if he could have. Parenting is hard. Being a parent of teenagers is really hard. Being a parent raising teenagers with standards and a faith contrary to most everyone around them is defeating some days. I see kids nowadays and think my basics are not unreasonable, but they are foreign to most households.
- My kids (a junior & senior in high school this fall) don’t have cell phones. Work/school is within a one mile radius from home, school is a five minute walk to my office.
- I will meet the parents of whoever my kid is “hanging out with.”
- I expect my kids to obey, be respectful, and honor my position as the authority in their life regardless of whether they agree or think it’s fair.
- My kids answer with “Yes, mom(my)” when called. Huh, yeah, what or other grunts are not acceptable.
- I am their parent first, friend (some days) second.
- My son will not wear his pants/shorts half way down his butt.
- My daughter will not leave the house if she can look down and see down her own shirt or if I can see the outline of her bra under her shirt.
These are very normal things for our family, and I’m not out to judge anyone else’s standards. As our kids are growing into their own, I expect authority to be challenged, boundaries to be pushed, and conflict along the way. At the end of the
sometimes ridiculously long day, I wonder what kind of husband/father my son will be one day. I wonder what kind of wife/mother my daughter will be. I hope that as we do our best to raise them, the WWIII that happens today will result in productive, respectable, responsible adults that have much to offer the world tomorrow. But man, is it hard. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and think soon enough, they will be out on their own. Then in a heartbeat, I think, we might not make it because I may snap at any moment. Seriously.
Last weekend we had a bit of an incident. It involved some lying & scheming, and as I tell my kids, your sin will always find you out. Busted. I am always thinking about the next move. Am I punishing my child, or disciplining? There’s a difference. If I react in anger, I’m operating based on emotion. If I put some thought into it, usually there is clarity and I think through the long term result that I hope to achieve. This past weekend was hard. I had zero idea what to do. Guess what? Some scenario’s are just not scripted in the best parenting books out there.
This is where we circle back to running. Someone asked me the other day if I actually like to run. Some days yes, some days it is work. But I like it every time. Why?
- I run to let my mind wander
- I run to solve the problems of the world (even if only in my head for that hour)
- I run to think
- I run to stop thinking
- I run to work out emotions
- I run to be fast
- I run to feel fast
- I run to survive the run
- I run to decide what I’m going to eat after my run
- I run to listen to podcasts that I can’t be still listen long enough to listen to at home
- I run because I’m done listening to the voice that says I can’t
Some days, like this past weekend, I just ran. As I focused on my breathing, my pace, and even all my weird kinks and aches, it was my life unplugged for a bit. I have a crazy big goal that I want to reach when it comes to running (side note: I’m done qualifying statements like this with “it’s a big goal for me.” It IS a big goal) but even comes secondary to my responsibilities as a wife and mother. Going for a run didn’t change anything. I didn’t have any great parenting epiphany, no final solution to what I should do. I did, however, have a much greater peace. I was able to run off the angst and frustration in exchange for a calmer countenance. I was able to get my self back into the frame of mind that parenting is hard work, but it is heart work.
The same applies with running. Many days it is hard work, and the payoff isn’t always what you expect. Running, like parenting, has left me in tears on more than one occasion. Running, like parenting, shows me where I have matured & made progress, and where I need to let go and move on. Running, like parenting, has shown me there are always going to be factors that are out of my control, and I need to adapt to stay ahead of the game. Running gives me time to think. Time to figure out how to bring my parenting “A Game” in today’s world. Today, that meant leaving the kids (on summer vacation) unplugged.
Game. On. Now who wants to go for a run? 🙂
Where or who do you turn to for advice? Anyone else working through the teen years? What goes through your head when you run?