Funky Town

ostrich

No? Yeah, didn’t think so.

I’ve been at a few blogger events recently and the same conversation happens every time:

So you’re a blogger?
Yes..{trail off with hesitation}
And what’s your blog?
Well, it’s called Melissa Running It, though I don’t really know what I’m running these days. 

Yeah, my life these days. For a while, I thought I’d settled into my niche as a running blogger. 2014 started with some change as I added more strength training and didn’t sign up to run every race under the sun and changed my fitness goals a bit. Now that we’re over half way through the year, I am evaluating a lot of things, but feeling a bit unsettled in a lot of things and just in an overall funk.

  • I’m no longer the mother of two teenagers as one moved out earlier this year, which means an epic shift in our relationship dynamic as mother & child. It didn’t come as expected, so we’re working through things with our immediate family and extended family as well.
  • I’m no longer the same runner. Last year it was all about the mileage and the races, averaging close to 100 miles each month. I think my longest run this year hasn’t been more than 6-8 miles, with plenty of walk breaks. My pace & endurance have put some distance between me and that goal of a sub-2 half.
  • I’m no longer kicking 40 in the face. My body has made it clear that it’s going to take its sweet time healing from this tennis elbow (it’s been 7 freakin’ months, if you’re keeping track) and I’m still working on getting full mobility from this back spasm four months ago. A few new health issues have crept in lately, so I’m just gonna roll my eyes at those for now since they are still being figured out. Add these all up and they’ve put a serious damper on my ability to hit the weights and train as hard as I would like.

I know, first world problems galore. As a blogger, however, it’s left me questioning. What’s my purpose for my little space on the interwebs? Where’s my voice that once seemed so clear? Do I just call it quits and stick with the other short & sweet avenues of social media? I’m still active on the Twitterverse and having fun with all the Instagram filters that should exist in real life to make things look better than they appear. Would those outlets be enough to feel connected to the my fitness friends and community?

I had to go back to what I know to be true:

I will always be a mother, even as the dynamics of relationships change.

graduation

I will always be a runner. Meeting the legend Jeff Galloway last month reminded me that I will always make it to the finish line of the race, and there’s nothing wrong with walking part of the course (yes, totally intentional with the life metaphor).

Galloway

I’m always going to have setbacks with training, but a setback is really just a setup for a comeback. It may take time, but this body is built for a whole lot more than just lifting heavy things and running. Those are just the means to keep me healthy and able to tackle the things that positively impact others and will have eternal value.

training

When I look at the big picture of my blogging life, I know I’ve got too much to say that the dear hubby needs to be spared of to stop blogging. Just like my break from running reminded me how much I missed the running community, this little unplanned hiatus from blogging reminded me how much I enjoy rambling speaking, writing, and engaging with people. There may be a bit of a shift as I refine? re-find? reclaim? my voice once again. I think part of my hangup has been due to spending too much time focused on my audience of five, fifty, or five hundred (yeah, not so much) rather than my audience of One.

This was in my Facebook feed this morning:

KindaSorta

It’s time to be done with the kinda sorta life and kinda sorta choices that haven’t been too effective these past few months. I’m not making any sweeping statements about going out and crushing life and all that jazz. Nah, it’s more like what you see is what you get and I hope you’ll stick around for this new season otherwise I’ll just keep talking to myself like I usually do.

beyou

 

Have you ever found yourself in a funk? How do you get out of it and get your mojo back? 

 

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melissyk

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Comments

  1. Amen sistah! (not sure if I can pull that comment off). But, I’m so with you on all of that. Every. Single. Word.

  2. I am glad you are not done blogging. I like reading your blog.
    We are here for whatever you need us for.

    • Thanks, Abby!
      I’ve decided the trick is that I need to capture the thoughts and perfect posts that come together while I’m in the shower, then magically disappear the second I’m done and move onto whatever “needs” to get done. :)

  3. You have it. It’s there. I believe it. And yes, I have been in a funk and YOU talked me thru it!

  4. I have gone through various phases in my life – sometimes I go out and take over the world and other times I go inside and reflect on things for a while. My “go-go-go” nature chafes at these contemplative times, let’s call them walking breaks, but I usually find that I come back stronger and more focused afterwards. Not necessarily focused on the same things but clearer on my intention, if that makes sense.

    • Totally makes sense, and thank you! I love that walking break analogy!! I know more change is coming down the pike, but I’m embracing it as it comes, that’s for sure.

  5. I love this and Dear Lord YES I have been in a funk and sometimes it’s very hard to get the mojo working again. I think blogging will help a lot. You have a community out here that “gets it” and will support you mama!!! And, you know I just love that shirt :-)

Talk to me, people.